Looking after yourself as a carer

We know that taking a break can be hard when you have someone else relying on you.

But it’s important for you, and the person you care for, to try and take some time out for yourself. If you’re more rested, then you have more to give to the person you’re caring for.

Here are some ideas on how you can get that all important break from caring:

Plan small breaks into your day

Taking time to yourself doesn’t mean needing to take a whole day off. Even taking half an hour to yourself to rest can help you. And it doesn’t have to cost any money.

Watch the taking a break videos on Carers UK. 
 

“When my wife sits to read a book, I plug myself into the games console to play a game. When my wife sits to watch television, I get my models out to build and paint. I also have time for myself whilst washing the dishes because I plug myself into an audio book. I feel it is important to be creative with time and make use of it wisely.” Sam, a carer for his wife Julie, who lives with severe asthma.

“You need a little something that’s about you. Once a day I go to the sofa in my study, light a couple of candles and sit quietly for 10 or 15 minutes. Sometimes I can feel the tension ebbing away.” Sita

Ask friends or family for help if you need longer time out

If you’re the main carer, it’s a good idea to have support from family and friends so that you can make time for yourself and your own needs.

Speak to them about helping with specific tasks. It’s a good idea to have someone ready to help if you’re ever unwell too.

Building up a support network can make a big difference. Think about the kind of help you might need from your family, friends and neighbours – especially if you’re ever unwell and can’t care for your loved one. Involve the person you care for in thinking about who can help.
 

“Chat to everyone locally and ask people for help. Try your GP practice nurse and local carers’ organisations.” John

Respite care 

If you need a break from caring, you may want to think about respite care. There are lots of different options for respite care, from getting a volunteer to sit with the person you look after for a few hours, to taking them out to an activity group or day centre.

Your GP may be able to support you with getting a break, if your caring role is affecting your health.  

You may also be able to get extra help with caring from charities or organisations – this is called respite care or carers breaks – your local council should have details of these in your area. 
 

“Our local hospice was very helpful – they would take Dad once a week to participate in day-long sessions that included activities like painting and drawing, and even head massages.” Kellie, whose Dad lived with IPF. 

Carers UK also has more ideas for taking a break. 

It’s important that you stay healthy and well for yourself, but also so you can continue to look after the person you care for well.

We know it can be hard to think about yourself when you’re busy caring for someone else. So here are a few tips on how to make looking after yourself part of your day.

Let your GP know you’re a carer

Most GP surgeries keep a record of who is a carer. This is because they know that keeping you well means you can continue to keep the person you care for well too.  

Let your GP surgery know you’re a carer so you can:

• get extra support to stay healthy and well 
• be invited for vaccinations
• have more flexible appointment times if possible
• get advice about having a break, and any financial support you can get for this.

Do a bit of exercise and activity every day

You may feel like you’re doing all the activity you need in your caring role. But if you can fit some exercise and activity into your day that’s just for you, you should find it helps with your mood and y fitness.  

You could even do some activity and exercise alongside the person you’re caring for. That way you both benefit. We Are Undefeatable have ideas for how to get moving around the home.

If you’re short on time, why not try these 10 minute at home exercises from the NHS.

Carers UK has lots of activity ideas too, and the NHS has ideas on how to keep fit for free.

Buy healthy food and snacks

When you’re short of time it can be tempting to grab the nearest thing to eat, sometimes this includes unhealthy foods with lots of sugar or salt.

But eating healthy fresh foods can make a real difference to your energy levels. You could also try batch cooking and freezing meals to save you time.
 

Look after your mental health and wellbeing 

When you look after someone, you will need to adapt and make changes to your life. It’s hard to watch someone close struggle with shortness of breath or other symptoms.

It’s common to feel anxious, stressed or have symptoms of depression . You may even sometimes feel resentment or guilt as a carer.

“Sometimes my difficulties seem unimportant compared to what he’s going through. It’s all strange. Guilt can be a big part of my feelings, as sometimes I feel torn between caring for him, being there for the rest of my family and keeping on top of my work. I’ve had counselling and that helped.” Sita

• Meet with friends as regularly as you can. Staying in touch and having a social life will benefit your mental health. If it’s difficult to get out, even a phone call can make you feel closer to people. 
• Share your experiences with other carers via our Health Unlocked forum.
• The mental health charity Mind has more great tips on how to look after your mental health when you’re a carer.
• Find your local carers’ support group, for help and advice where you live.
• Asthma + Lung UK’s support groups are spread across the UK. We also have virtual support groups, which are available to join if there isn’t a local group near you, you can’t travel to the meeting, or you prefer to meet remotely.

“Keep as social as you can, go to groups, coffee mornings, dancing, anything to meet other people. I reckon a lot of the benefits of our exercise group come from socialising.” Dave  

You can also speak to your GP, nurse or pharmacist about further support, if you need it. 

• Breaks and respite care – the NHS has more information on getting help with carer’s breaks and respite care. 
• Carers Trust – provide support and advice for carers, including those under 18, a forum and information about local support centres.
• Carers UK – provide help and advice for carers, such as benefits, carer’s assessments, and respite care.
• Age UK – advice for older carers and a telephone befriending service.
• The Children’s Society – support for young carers and their families.
• NHS Social care and support guide - information on financial support, equipment and social services help.  
• Supporting someone with breathlessness – a website with help and advice made for family and friends of people with breathlessness.
• Local Mind mental health services include drop-in centres and training, counselling and befriending